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Concerned

Is it that I am concerned about something? Is someone else concerned about something? It’s such a huge concern! I guess I am concerned about all the concerns about me and all those who are concerned about me! Why can’t people just stop caring and being concerned! It’s so much to handle, especially for someone who has little concern about oneself! I’m suffocated by all the care and compassion! Almost making me feel like I am dying in some time now!
Can people fake concern? I know quite a lot who can fake almost anything. So maybe this is also possible. But honestly, I don’t think it’s faking. And that adds to my concern! Yesterday when I wrote about people poking nose into others’ business, I had some specific people in mind. And today when I talk about care and concern, it’s more or less the same set of people in my mind! Maybe I am so disturbed about it that I want to shoo people away! Or maybe, I think it’s pointless to lament about things you have no control of! Or maybe, it’s just that the concern suddenly makes me insecure! When did I start confessing about my insecurities!
That evening when I was getting out of office on my two wheeler, he insisted I turn the headlights on. It was not dark yet, but he insisted, as I might not notice it on the way. Who was he? A security guard, paid by the company, definitely NOT for ensuring if I turn my lights on or off! Why did he care to say that then? I don’t remember seeing him before that or after that. Why didn’t he be there this evening also! Why couldn’t have he been concerned about my headlights again! This is probably why I like to shoo people away from care and concerns. It’s pretty much addictive! You get so obsessed that you can’t live devoid of it! Callousness is the concern!

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