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Tag: Passion

Time-worthy-time!

My dad is a typical average earning Indian. Not too much but just enough, is his shopping slogan! Of most things I am intrigued about him, his where-does-each-penny-go is the one that draws me more! Everytime I ask for something, he gets it for me, but only after his tiring set of tests. First question, “Unakkithu venama ippo?” (Do you actually want this now?). “Enna vilai? Ivvalavu aavuma? Innam rendu kadayila kettu pakkalaame!” (Does it really cost so much? Why don’t we just ask around a few more shops!) That’s pretty much all you need! The question keeps echoing, ‘Do I need this now?’. And if for the nth time, if the answer is still yes, yes, I am getting it from him! He never forgets to add, “Nyayamana karyam naan orikkalum venda chollamtten.” ( I never say no to your fair demands!) And that, to this day, he sticks to his word! The only thing he rejected outright was pizza, which, however, he accepted in a later period of time! The value for money, the need for self evaluation before throwing your wallet across the counter and the judgment of product utility – they are all things he taught me, without his own knowledge. Last week I go home to see this thing, hanging on the wall in our hall! The old rickety clock looked odd there, but I loved the tick-tick and the ding-dong! So I casually asked dad how much did it cost him. He said 1.5k. Silence. I didn’t ask anything more. The more I contemplated on it, the more interesting and funny it seemed! My count-every-penny dad bought this clock! I kept staring at it. Dad somehow felt the scope of an explanation, and he did. “I know its expensive.But it was just a craze to me, to own a mechanical clock”. He started explaining how it needs to be wound only once a week, and how the ding-dong startles him in the middle of the night and on and on. I though of mentioning the mechanical wrist watch we gifted him, but later thought otherwise. It was a man’s passion. To own a piece of elegant excellence, from his earlier life and past. I just had to smile! 🙂 Only to irritate him, I said how nice would it be for me to realise my passion too, by holding a 40k phone, despite the ‘expense’! And right came the response. A more advanced 45k thing would be out on the market, the moment I buy the 40k product. Things keep changing, improving upon their own predecessors. But nothing is ever gonna improve and replace the mechanical ding-dong wall clock. Somethings acquire worth, just be their being, from the past, thru the present, into the future. Beyond the transience of times, beyond the worth of time itself!

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Athenna?

Athenna appidi? (Why’s that so?)  That’s the most repeated response I have ever made in my life. To everything. To everybody. I have always demanded reasons and explanations. For I believed, and still believe that everything out there, happens for a reason and each by itself is a cause for something else. So what’s it there? Spirituality or rationalism? Whatever you see, I, for once, believe its a mix of both. A splendid proportion of two paths, leading to the ultimate. I am often avoided for my ‘crude’ attitude, often ’embraced’ for my ‘cool’ logic, and often pulled into a never ending debate on the duality of my thoughts!

A child asks you ‘why?’ and you answer. As long as its not about ‘taboo’ topics like …the list depends on your attitide. For every other question a child throws at you, it’s always a pleasure, playing around, mimicking accents, building stiries, and all the more, clarifying doubts and explaining the ‘why?s’.

”Mammam saapidu.“ (Eat your food.)
”Athenna?“ ( Why’s that?)
”Illatta sakthi kedakkathu.“ ( You won’t be strong otherwise.)
”Athenna?“
”Perisaava maattay.“ (You won’t grow up.)
”Athenna?“

What do you answer beyond this? What I can possibly think of is, hug the kid and laugh your mind out. Coz there ain’t a further explanation you can offer. Nothing would ever satisfy the child’s mind, for its so filled with curiosity, or as we call it, innocence. But as the child grows up, we’d want it to shed the cover of innocence, but not the edge of curiosity. It’s obvious of us to expect things to change. But at the same point, isn’t it slightly ridiculous too? Why is a kid’s questions welcome here but not a grown ups? The response I got in my usual pre-blog discussion, was that there’s no innocence in a grown up’s curiosity and that, its rather inquisitiveness!

I can’t draw my lines together here, and conclude. I guess I am more of a kid when it comes to curiosity and ‘athenna?’ attitude. But I also assume that I am enough grown up, to distinguish between being ‘inquisitive’ and being ‘curious’. So what’s the whole deal here? Should you rather shove up your questions and reasoning somewhere deep within, in the process of building up a social rapport? Or rather not.

The past week at home, my dad was continuously pinning me down with the same ‘athenna?’ questions. And for a long time, I was wondering what went wrong. And slowly, I forgot about it. But later, I caught him explaining it to my sister. It seems he was just throwing it back at me; the way I used to get on his nerves by my rationalism! That gave me a good laugh indeed. Coz, surprisingly his attitude pleased me all the more, than the annoyance he assumed!

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Liberation!

I sense liberation. I know what being liberated means. Or so I believe. I am counting my days. Into liberty. And out of it. It’s like I am in some cycle, running through different stages of liberation. One moment, I feel on top of the world, having ultimate control over everything in my life. Its that moment where I care enough to look around and acknowledge the infinite wonders around me, and find myself dignified. And the next moment, I feel chained. An invisible leash around me, and hardly can I move. It’s like I am tied to a pole, and the radius is all I have to myself. It’s really stupid to shuttle between all these emotions, and still not choose one. Like I am not yet free to decide where I want the rest of my life to be. Ah come on! What liberation was I talking about then!

This is a real trivial transition. From college to home. And I already feel choked. I can’t wait to go back out there and start breathing. And be liberated. Return my wings to me, my old wing workshop! I so much want them, to soar into the infinite world! Broken leash, and a waking dream, herald my indomitable spirit. To fly higher, fall deeper, talk louder, hear clearer, live liberated!

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Another rock night!

Its total injustice to call it a rock night, to all the other real stuff out there. This was about the Idea Rocks India show and some associated promotional show by Shankar Ehsaan Loy team. The highlight ofcourse was the SEL, though there were supporting events and other artistes. Now ask me how grant the event was! Its a personal question for me, coz I haven’t had enough exposure to this kinda music and beats to actually judge. So if I compare today with my other music night experiences this year,(the first time was in this year only!), I guess today was just average. The crowd didn’t move. The music didn’t give you the ‘kick’. And the beats didn’t shake you. It was dull. Was it boring? No, but wasn’t it too dull. May be it is a dumb remark. So the music fanatics, who happened to be in the show as well, forgive my ignorance.

I liked my Agnee experience better. May be, its coz Agnee tops SEL. Or may be, Trivandrum zeal wins over Kochiites’. Or simply be that, being in an event with the general public and family sucks so much. They aren’t anything like having an enthusiastic and energetic crowd of youngsters, brimming with zest, and a liberated gang of friends! Agnee really rocked us. My heart popped out, pounding in thrill with the beats, like in animated cartoons! I really want to shake myself up and dance it off. I want so much more ‘rock’ nights, and let go off the gripping pressure on our lives. It’s great to feel so liberated and rejuvenated, in a crowd of people you may not even know! But, today I caught myself yawning like I was trying to read an academic text!

Mind you, it wasn’t Shankar Mahadevan who made the night drab. His voice and his singing, are the only things that made the crowd glued to their seats. He sings so divine. Effortless and elegant, if I were to be a reality show jury! But that’s not the point in a musical night. The show wasn’t crowd pulling but dull. His songs, I’d rather pitch up my headset and listen to, from an mp3 player or something. I wanted that spark the show didn’t have. The vibe that throws you outta the chair and makes you shake and move with the beats!

Kalaaba kaadhalan!

Iravin madisernthu
irulil marainthu
uruvam yeranthu
udalum pirinthu
unnil sera thudikkiren
unnodu kalara yaasikkiren.
Oruvalukku oruvan endra
sattathai naan indru arukkiren.
En kalaaba kaadhala..
Neeyennai avanai vida
anpoda aravanaikkirai.
Un nesathin soozhchiyil
naan avanayum marakkiren.
Unnodu ondraaga yengukiren..

Intha ulakin sodhanai
ennai vittusellumendraal.
Intha vazhakyain verumai
nammai theendathendraal.
Un manathin thavippu
en maranathil theyumendraal.
Vidaikal naan kekkavillai unnidam.
Vidaivaanga mattum azhaikkiren.
Ungalirunthu en puthu thozhanudan sella.
Selkiren naan…
Intha mutrupulliyin mudivil
yaavum mudiyumendraal.

P.S. Every blogger has those days when you have the nerve to attempt on ANYTHING, just coz you don’t wanna stop blogging. One such day here!

Visual vestiges of a cherished obsession!

An endless journey through the seamless rails..

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Towards the horizon, vanishing and uniting with the ultimate..

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A delayed arrival @Trivandrum Central. An evening blend of colours above the rails..

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Ahoey! I reserved this for you, my invisible companion! The vacant face..
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Barred and unbarred!

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Aqua power – captured and un-captured!

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MEMU days – The scary double doors.

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MEMU days – Share the window – Single Window System!

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The bridge to traverse – unfinished as ever!

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What I never got bored of – the curves and the bends – drawing spirals in my head!

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This is not all about my train journeys. But this definitely is an indispensable part of my rail-days!

The obsession!

The most recent and dominant obsession that stayed in my life has been…what? I never had an answer to that question ever, as infinte things popped up in my mind, right from sleep, to books, to food. It never seemed too sensible to just pick one as ‘the’ obsession. Looks like I just resolved that confusion of mine. I have never been so obsessed about anything else, as I am about trains now. I am just so much in love with these train journeys that I am finding reasons to travel, which fundamentally doesn’t even exist! In the past week of 5 weekdays, I was travelling up and down for 4 days! Amidst which, I had too lab exams (which obviously is irrelevant!). My point is, for no real reason, I am lingering around the railway station. And today being the last day of the wonderful week, I even wished the train delays. And yay! My journey got extended by 30 precious minutes!

Meeting newer people on every trip, wondering at some people’s sheer piss-dom (the one that pisses off people in general!), running errands, leaning across the blowing wind, arguing for the right quantity of tea, prying at the near-by passenger, making sure he’s not a rapist, and the deluge of railway sirens and track cracklings! Each train journey is a unique experience, that could always make a post of its own in the blog, everyday! Not to forget the awesomeness of infinite picture-peferct photos! A couple of those photos may weave a story of their own, all by themselves! I miss the overnight train journeys, with the wobbly berth and the gentle lullaby of the train that puts me to a peaceful sleep!

Coming soon : Have a few photos and even a video, from my numerous train days. The ones with divine solitude and unbounded-ness! They will fill the voids I left in the post.

Yet another marathon!

All geared up for yet another 30-day blogging challenge! This time with a friend, with whom I shared all of my school-days writing passions! Like, only I’d understand what she was attempting to say to the world and vice versa. We both sucked in what we did. But funnily enough, we never got tired of trying again and again, to improve and prove to the never-pleased critic in both of us! Is it too common to find people who’d put in infinte literary activities in their New Year to-do resolutions? And actually take the pain of cross-checking with eachother, if the literary ‘resolutions’ are being kept! Well, you just found us. Its like, we’re good at almost nothing else but playing with words. The not-yet-pleased critic says, we’re not even good at this. But as ever, we aren’t tired of trying again and again. To you all, who are supposedly the ‘vivid readers’ of my blog, check out my blog-mate here. Read, comment, criticise. (Compliments are also welcome!) 🙂

Hope the co-blogger does the same, as a token of forgiveness to me for sharing the link and publicising the blog! Seriously, why would someone have a blog if there aren’t any readers!

Official flag off to the marathon!

Learning and unlearning!

EntSo is the definition of the New Age success mantra, according to career guidance experts and professionals from the field. You learn things, aka the academia, and then you join the company and unlearn all that you learnt. From the Company’s point of view, it may so happen that everything that you have acquired as ‘seamless’ ken, may seem outdated and statistically irrelevant to your hirer! Now, that’s the twist in the story. Your ‘x’ number of years of ‘intense’ and ‘dedicated’ education unfold as a pile of futile acquisition of multitudes of ‘knowledge’! And this is when the key roles enter the drama. The trainers, come boosting you up, cheering you up, and finally ‘groom’ you into what the companies always wanted of the ‘Human Resources’! You now turn into ‘resources’, that can yield a huge market share of profit and fortune for the company.

At what stage should you approach the companies for being trained? Now that’s more like asking, “When can I sign up for my life screwing up program?” Well, technically, I am incorrect. After all, the end goal of every aspirant student is only to succumb to some fancy job offers and secure the future!(Or so presumed!) Out of the box thinking and innovations are all welcome, at every other phase of your life, but in your career choices! No matter what you learn, what you are exceptional at, by the end of the course, grab the offer letter and gloat about it. Or else, you are making a terrible mistake in your life. How are you gonna answer, ‘Ningade collegil placementin aarum vannille?’ (Nobody came to you college for placements?), ‘Ella paperum kittkyilla alle?’ (Didn’t clear your back papers yet eh!) The concerns and queries are never ending. Forget the annoyance they may cause, but the discouragement is irredeemable. If you aren’t placed by the end of your course, you are by default, deemed something well below an average potential person. Your lack of interest totally doesn’t count, as long as the fact remains that you weren’t offered big ‘corporate jobs’!
Brush up your skills and groom yourself, and there you are, right opposite your HR interviewer, the offer letter filling the space between you two! All IT giants have climbed all the way down the ladder to help groom and uplift each one of us, to escalate the overall ‘productivity’ in us!
My college had a session scheduled. Conducted by an IT giant, venturing into New Age domains of business. And the people who came down, aka the trainers, interacted with a group of 150 IT career aspirants, or so assumed. The session was an unbearable branding of the company, its achievements, pointing out why might we prefer this company over some other company and on and on. The people who came down, gloated about their unusual activity patterns and achievement scales. At the end of the session, we were asked to fill in a feedback form. Rating the experience with the trainers, the whole impression about the session etc. That was one glad moment for me, where I could break the shell, and express my detest. I spoke my mind into the paper, ticked the most negative responses for half the questions and then casually looked around. Alas! Am I the only one again? The person next to me had polar opposite answers. It so seemed that the sheer futility rendered by those few hours of life were recognizable only to me.
What I found totally unacceptable and pointless is the way they sell the company. The promotion techniques, the strategic planning etc. are all well plotted and custom designed. Their progress has been entertained and enjoyed by us, but that just wouldn’t stop them, not even for a moment of pause. The struggle continues. To be trained under the best. To be training the best. Placing the best, and finally, being the best of all. There were never any compromises. And there’s never enough room to think beyond! And may be, that could be why there exists polar opposite attitude and perceptions amongst us!

Talking to my mom casually, I mentioned how nice it’d be to have my/our own idea of a company brewing up! And guess what she has offered to say! Well, its the same that all mothers ever would have said! Go secure my career with some company, and then ‘consider’ innovations! As if!

Agnee sets fire!

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Of all things I miss to say in the chaos of Life, let me not miss this! Agnee the band performing as a part of the college fest! Let the picture talk!