Oh my god is what I’d say now, at the end of the day. Today was one heck of a day! Not extremely entertaining or depressing. But eventful and exhausting. Making friends, making groups, staying around, splitting apart, regrouping oneself. It all seemed so easy and so quick. For a snail head like me, it was too silly and more tiring always. But today seemed different and things came more easy to me too.
Walking around Ramoji film city, we fell into infinitely nested groups and finally came down to be group-less. Often huddled up as a bunch of chattering chipmunks, we seldom reduced (or elevated? 😛 ) ourselves to silent monks. There wasn’t much to feel wonderful about the place. But experiences are always place and time independent. The times we had there were quite memorable. We (I’d rather choose to be in first person hereafter) made friends with more intimacy now, and I tried had to stick around as way my habit. But then it came so natural to me now that being friends needn’t be always about sticking around. (It still appeals to me though!) I learnt that having fun was definitely more important than sticking to a group ever so boring they become. Dont assume now the day was all just fun, fun and fun! We had fights. And I had my own fights. Cat fights! Over the mobile charger. Over the berth. Over guys’ ego. Over girls’ carelessness. I was pretty much annoyed and infuriated by people’s attitude on these. But I guess, so should they be feeling about it. So, never mind we’re still macha-macha friends! (I assume I’ve fallen perfectly into that group of twelve or thirteen! Not very sure about what they think. Thank god not all of them read this.)
Learning more about long journeys with totally annoying and discomforting company. Learning how a bottle of water, or a free charging point or even a freaking awesome gadget can woo them into be your ‘friends’. Oh yeah, something worse than fair weather friends! 😀 With all the cat fights and giant hugs, I’m content!
The day one of our Industrial Visit from college. In other words, my first perfect day of ten days away from everyone and everything. Cant call it too perfect a day. But it definitely was a perfect start for a series of hopefully perfect days! 😛 Started early morning at seven by train and I’m still in train as I type this. Has been really long after spending more than twenty four hours in train. And I totally love this feeling of a wobbly train, gently rolling about the perfect sized berth. Writing is the perfect thing to do now. But as I mentioned, it is wobbly. Typing is the next near perfect thing I can think of!
Doesn’t seem like I can give a point to point review of the day. But there are definitely things I wouldn’t want to miss sharing. Played cards as ever. But never played like today. And the trump was awesome. (Forgiveness expected from the relevant self! 🙂 )After all the frequent and consistent training I got all these years, its only today that I ‘really’ played the game. One heck of a game! My first cheating in the game. My first losing the game, which multiplied by so many times that I adorned my ears with the cards! (Didn’t have the actual thing (vellakka) that you hang on the ears to symbolise the defeat! ) My first conversations with a lot of my classmates. Yeah! I should be ashamed of it, after two long years of coexistence. So should be they. Never mind. Coz made upto all of it today and will do more in the days to come. My first ‘political’ discussion, abusing an ideology on the face of an activist. It was as out of my scope as it was intriguing. My (not first) awesome experience at the door of the coach. My classmates almost thought I’m on a suicide mission. They wanted me to stay alive till we come back, so that it doesn’t screw up their trip. 😛 I wasn’t planning to die anyway. My first awesome experience with filter coffee. Though I drooled over coffee, I kept my safe distance from the filter one. Getting down on the platform just to get that awesome coffee was worth it!
At the end of the day, the only face that prominently stays is of that old lady from who I bought a dozen of safety pins. Her smile was the most warm, so much reminding my ammammai’s (grandma’s). I didn’t want safety pins. Perhaps, she wanted someone to buy it. I’m glad today. Bliss!
The splash of colours and the ‘holi’ spray gun are what welcomed me to college today. The fervor and spirit in those guys were unbeatable. The dashing along the corridors and the welcome party at the entrance were unexpected. Yet again, the least of expectations was that they’d come to a docile group of girls by the corner(which obviously included me :P) to shed the ‘holy’ colours! And surprisingly, not a tinge of any colour or spray was seen on me. It was as though I turned non-existent even to a gang of shrewd festive spree struck guys!
I didn’t want myself to be soaked and lost in those colours of theirs. But the point is evidently obvious here. Being left alone doesn’t feel good. I’d have wanted to be a part of all the fun. But I believe in the natural sense of belonging you thrive upon, rather than a cooked up and manipulated mingling. I’m not regretting. Just looking back on yet another day, of feeling out of place and being ridiculed at. I’m glad nobody pushed me into any of those. But I’d have really appreciated myself if I could spot any inviting eyes. There could be a hundred reasons why things are sober. Could be that I am too withdrawn that people actually think I could be insane. Or it could be simply that everyone is caught in the mess and finds it difficult to make sense to themselves. Or even, it could be just that I look too old to fall into anybody’s group!
But yeah. Everything happens for a reason. Untouched by the colours, I was walking along the black and white corridors of my mind only to meet a much cherished person of the college, face to face. My most respected and dignified teacher. I was more than shocked to see he noticed that I’d not done the colours, and even pulled my legs on keeping away from all the frolic. Amazingly though, I felt good. That he talked to me after long, with a long lost intimacy. It didn’t take me long to grab my senses back and stride ahead with more pride than ever. Everything sure happens for a reason. It’s never about being left out. It’s all about how you cope till you finally reach your abode. Reach safe and sound. That’s the bigger challenge. Mine is unclear. I’m squinting. Coping till then!
Have never talked enough about my college. More correctly, I haven’t even thought enough about this place that I go everyday. I dont curse myself as I turn the alarm off and get up every morning to rush to college. Going to college is an enthusiastic idea to me every morning. Nobody is waiting for me there. I’m not expecting to see anyone there either. But yet, its motivating enough to pull the covers off me. My class is boring. So are the people. So is what I assume, atleast. The teachers make me yawn more often than making me think intriguing. But yet. But yet I love my college.
The welcoming entrance, the parking space and the bikes aligned, the parapet with gentle backrests, the curve of the stairs that lets me take giant leaps, the pathway that gets flooded in the rain. I’m amused by everything about my college. The ‘group-ism’ in class, the boring useless lectures, the ridiculous bunch of dumbheads. Seems like I’d live through all of them or even worse, coz so much is my liking for the place. Unusually, I feel all comfortable and cosy at a place, despite it being so rough and insensitive to me. But its not the place that’s insensitive. Instances and happenings are rough. Not the place. For it have been always good to me. Walking around the campus, I’ve cried silent, laughed aloud and cursed bad. It has been just two years here, and somehow I turn more nostalgic about my college than my school where I spent years of my life. But the reason is obvious.
In school, there were people in life. They had an impact on me off campus or on campus, the place being so irrelevant. But now in college, people stop to exist. Its just incidents or accidents if you cross another person in the daily routine. Life has changed and is all about places, things and instances. People hardly hold any worth or role in life. Doesn’t that vaguely sound like I’ve turned into a materialistic jerk? Or may be it doesn’t. It just says how life has changed my notions about it and gifted me a new sense of perception.
There’s so much to write. The lovers’ point, the bunk area, the hideout, the common joint, the budding romances, student politics, management talks, teachers’ strike and a hell lot more. I need to break it up and talk. There really is so much to say. Wait for more of them.
Was down with a fever and cough for a week. And that was such a wonderful timing that I missed five of my internal exams. Frankly, I was glad I’ve more time to study. But yeah, nothing of that sort happened and I screwed them up as usual. No big deal. The retests were postponed and dragged, long enough that I was itched to face them and get over them. But then, it’s the teachers’ mercy playing. And that’s such a rare commodity! Well, whatever. Glad that I’m finally done with it today. Almost. Yeah. Just almost. One more to go.
Well. This aint about my retests or academic crap. I was actually talking about the inside story. The plot and the dialogues inside a staff room. That was funny. Rather surprising. Teachers are
unpredictable beings outside the classroom, or more precisely, inside the staffroom. They talk. Gossip. Prick. Laugh. Confess. Seek help. Seeking help is the most common actually. 🙂
Okay. Everybody does that. So can teachers. They are also common people like you and I. But that’s not the point at all. They do all the very common things in a peculiar way. ‘Appo eli kadichittalle elippani pakarunnathathu??’ I laughed at that question. Laughed really hard. Not thinking about the scientific aspect of it. But seeing my ‘Digital System Design’ teacher stare so stupid and blank, I just couldn’t stop! (The subject name says how bright she should be!) And adding to my surprise, all the teachers in the staffroom fell silent as I broke into laughter. They looked at eachother and I could sense me screwing up. But to my shock, they started laughing with me. They find me mocking at a teacher so hilarious! Seriously! Lol. And another teacher. She says how she’d scare them, coming back as ghost if they dont get her a wreath of rose if she dies of elippani!
I loved the irony. The teacher next to me was shit scared and tensed. I was rotflmao (in my mind) when I learnt the reason for her worry. She was worried of screwing up coz the Inspector from the university had caught her using mobile phone during class hours! I still cant stop laughing. Rotfl.
The never ending complaints about how under paid they are. How the evaluation camp exhausts them. What are the procedures for applying for a Phd. When on earth will they finally get a change in
It was fun. And revealing. (cant be relieving when the teacher stares at your answer sheet!) What they actually thought about students is what actually we think about ourselves. That was mews to me! I’d love to write more of retests! If only they wouldn’t postpone it. 🙂