The Fear

If there’s one thing that completely occupies me other than a book, it always will be a journey. Travelling around has been something that I always loved. Unknown roads, uncertain destinations. That’d be how I love it. But yeah, considering my limited resources for such an expedition, I tend to be more than happy with a planned itinerary through the ever same roads. Being alone, having time for yourself, talking to oneself. They are the best parts of a travel. The plugged in headset and the book in hand ruin the tranquility a journey offers. But now if you see me travel, I always have either one of them or mostly both of them with me. They spoil the fun. But they are indispensable to me now. Having time, talking to myself. They are all tiring me. I just dont need time alone. I’d have chosen to write. But now, I dont write that liberally. My writing is limited to my stipulated time slots. So I read. I dont sing. And I dont want to talk. So I listen.

Fear is something that never crept into my journeys. I dont know how could it be possible that I’m actually afraid of something relating to travel? Afraid of bus travel? What phobia is that? Whatever that is, that’s what I’m suffering from. My most dreadful six hours were today! The ones that I’d not forget a life time. The darkness rushing into you, the chill running down your spine. Shivering in the cold outside, and fear inside. Crying and consoling yourself. Acting normal to avoid the stares, dying within to shut down everything around you. It was a wreck. A mishap. Never again happening. Never alone. The fear is abysmal. As much as the darkness. The journey is eerie. As much as the memories that gush out.

Talking aloud your fear calms down, is the crap that I always hear. I have no such stupid notions. My fears go with me to the grave. It gave me a good blog post. That’s all the idea behind ‘screaming’ out your fear! So, all those who read. Dont come and advocate me how pointless is my fear and convince me to get rid off it. Thanks. 🙂

Valluvar dinam

Heard of such a guy? Thiruvalluvar? Today is supposedly ‘his’ day. Dont know more details. But wanted to share all that I knew about the legend. His masterpiece, the ‘Thirukural’. Its life changing potential. The poetic charm of the verses. The thoughts that’d linger a lifetime. The weight of the language setting in. Tempting for more Tamil. More love. More poems. More passion. More meaning. More to life.

Even thought of choosing a verse for a day and brief about it. Everyday. But as ever. You propose. Somebody else disposes. Ah whatever. I’m done proposing. Let things come the way they know for I’m too dumb,rather lazy, to guide them further. As life has it!

Wish nothing’s disposed again. I wanna start with it. My thirukural days. As long as it stays.

Just another day!

Just another day. Just another morning. Just another night. Just another feeling. Just another joy. Just another tear. Just another laugh. Just another pass. Just another being. Just another day that I survived. I survived. Just another life. Just another for another?

The pursuit of happiness

Nay. Not a review of the movie. Partially coz I’m not good at judging things. But mostly coz I haven’t seen that movie yet! Now is that bad? Well, never mind.

Not bad that I haven’t seen the movie. But kinda bad I’m not here with a movie review. That’s what I should be better doing. Book reviews, objective writing, versatile poems, short stories, novelas. That’s where my pen (or the stylus or the finger) should be gliding over. Gently moving through the language, its marvels, and charm. But look at me! Lol. What am I doing here? Scribbling incomprehensible never ending boring essays. Exactly. The kinda essays you’d miserably want to skip in those old history texts. Well, doesn’t that kinda mean I should end this with a period? Lol. Not actually. You have a choice here. You can choose to read. Or choose otherwise. Nobody is stuffing it into your brains so that you pass a dreadful board exam! Its as simple as that. This my pursuit of happiness. So I write. No matter what the world says about how ruthlessly am I raping the beauty and lucidity of the language.

Label me Ms. Complicated. Talk behind my back. Mock at me. Does that even matter? I’ll keep writing. More complex. More subtle. More crap. Does that matter either? Lol.