Tag: Reality

Maktub!

~ Soumya ~ 2 Comments

There’s this thing I always wanted so much to convey to people. Have you seen these ‘spiritual’ serials, which is shot so absurd and ridiculous? Or at least the film My Friend Ganesh 3? In the movie, there’s a scene where in a forest, a tiger is about to attack a group of rabbits or deer. And you see that Lord Ganesh himself glides over them, and saves the innocent creatures from the ferocious tiger. It got terrified and stopped abruptly, and gently escaped the scene, without even turning behind at the Lord. How fair does that seem now!! The Lord himself created both the species of creatures, and both were synced to the agreement of coexistence. The tiger was simply trying to gobble its lunch! How could they probably call it wrong of it!

When all people in the world have their own list of right and wrong and circles of existence, how can there exist a god who meddles in between on his own screen play? What’s right here and who’s defining the righteousness? I often go there, and be there at that point where you find it stupid! To worry and lament about things that already happened or that are scheduled to happen! What’s the point worrying about all this, when its all written? Maktub – it’s all written! There’s nothing so fair anyway.

Censored!

~ Soumya ~ 4 Comments

There’s this churidar of mine, with red and black stripes. Kinda rustic look and I kinda liked it too. But the tailor ruined the dress and I hardly wear it these days. A single day today, I saw three people in the exact same dress. Saw two yesterday. That’s really really bad. I want to stay unique, everything in me, everyone around me. Glad I’m not wearing it that often these days! Standing out even in what you wear, is something that I have truly cherished in life. Without compromising or taking efforts, things naturally turned out the most unique to me always!

I occasionally walk back home after college. And that I do in a peculiar fashion, jumping across the pavement tiles. Numbering my steps, not crossing the tile joints, placing my leg at the same position in every tile. That’s kinda difficult to describe. I’d rather show you one day than explain it online. Waiting for the bus, I saw this lady with a disfigured face. Probably an aftermath of an accident, it seemed like she burnt half her face. As she crossed me, I had the perfect side view of her other part of the face. Trust me when I say she was elegantly beautiful from that angle. She reminded me of our crippled selves and fake facade that each one of us bear. Symbolism! Lol. I really wanted to let her know how beautiful she was. But yeah, intuitively I swallowed that ‘brilliant’ idea of mine.

Saw a guy today. Have been seeing him quite often and he resembles my long lost uncle a lot. I wish if I could see my uncle just once more and talk to him just once more. I can explain why he walks so brisk all the time. And why he hardly makes eye contact with anybody at all. As if I know this random man and the whole of his life. I wonder how I see the story running through every mind that crosses me. I think what they might have been thinking. Assuming a plot as their life’s story and building upon the vague giveaway of their nature has become my new way of ‘utilising’ time. I meet a hundred people minimum every day. And I have a hundred story lines running through my head every moment of the day. And from those many stories, its my handpicked story that covers my blog post every night.

My point is simple. With so eventful a life, and so much happenings in a single day, I am not running short of things to write. Actually, I have so much to write that I am confused what to choose. I could have written a single post that talked about any of the things that I talked about earlier. I could have just wound it up and moved on to the next. But then, this is what I chose to write. A random paragraph with so much ramblings! This is how things work with me. Obviously.

Not just recently, but ever since I started writing I’ve been accused of one thing. That I dont know what to write in a blog and what not to write. Back then, I was so offended by that statement and I totally abandoned my blog and swore to resurrect never again. But I came back. With more vigour to express and more experiences to vent.Even the last time somebody read my blog and immediately reached me to warn and advise on what to and what not to write. But seriously, I dont bother anymore. You think I shouldn’t have said this is in open? Tell me that on my face in public. Only then am I even gonna consider doing something about it. Back then, it was the censoring of a teenager’s crazy ramblings. But if you think you can still do it with me, you’re gonna regret thinking so. I’m a person. I know what I’m writing, sensibly and sensitively. Having a lot to write and limited time to spend on it, I’m already filtering a lot of things that’s running on my mind. Filtering it again makes it drab. Nothing more remains in the essence of my passion to write.

I’d want someone to genuinely tell me what they think of the things that I write. Are they things worth anybody’s time? Are they worth any thing at all? Tell me if I shouldn’t have written this. Tell me if this offends you. I’d quit again. Stopwriting forever. And resurrect again if you let me. For you, a thousand times over!

Just another day!

~ Soumya ~ Leave a comment

Just another day. Just another morning. Just another night. Just another feeling. Just another joy. Just another tear. Just another laugh. Just another pass. Just another being. Just another day that I survived. I survived. Just another life. Just another for another?

Foodominance!

~ Soumya ~ Leave a comment

There’s this mama and mami near my home. An old couple staying alone. Not coz they are childless. Their son married a woman of another caste. So did their daughter. The old man is ailing and the wife is not able to take care of him all by herself. But yet, the couple wouldn’t give up to the children. They are wounded and wouldn’t yield to any cajoling.

The other day, mami had come to our home. She was talking to my parents about how their kids have brought them shame and agony. She was saying, “Money or caste never matters. We have enough wealth. We’d have accepted the marriage. Except for how they wouldn’t give up non-veg food.” I couldn’t stop laughing at her statement and the emotion that she gave out through it. Should have appeared rude. But yet…food habits? Seriously? That ruins a family? Rotflmao.

I laughed and laughed. People say they eat to live. And I say we live to eat. Despite that, this level of dominance that food habits have on our society seems ridiculous to me. Personal likes and dislikes do exist; on food habits, as in any other segment of life. But then, I dont get that. Is the type of food more important than your own kids? From the other point, wouldn’t you stick to pure vegetarian food if that means you can be with your old parents? I really dont get that.

May be she lied. May be there’s the usual story of adamance and ego in not accepting the marriages. But may be, there’s some truth in what she said. Foodominance indeed!

A morning with you!

~ Soumya ~ 2 Comments

So what do you get of the title? That I had a wonderful awesome date with some ‘you’? Or just a pleasant calm day with somebody special? Lol. Its none. Its just a morning with ‘u’. Or simply, mourning! What am I mourning though? I dont know. Do you actually need a reason? Well, I do. I should have reasons. For anything and everything. Coz I’m rational beyond any rationale! Irrational rationalist! Sounds cool? Or weird? Or disgusting? I dont know. But I know how it feels. Just slightly better than crap and that’s it.

Why the heck am I still holding on to something that makes me feel like crap? Coz somebody occasionally compliments me. About how bold I am to have the guts to face things as they are? How reasons and parameters dont frighten me? No way! The compliment doesn’t complement the shit feel. Despite them, my reasons and rational thoughts, by themselves be the reason for my existence. At a moment like this, feeling like the entire world is closing upon me, if I can still write, I owe something to my rational brain.

Nonchalance. No way near solace. But yet, it gives me a feel of triumph. Victory over myself. The feel of having the reins back again in your hands. I’m beginning to savour this moment. Of nonchalance. Of peace. Of solitude.

Got a set of three books last month. Voraciously read and finished the last book today. Its strange. Just so strange that I’m like this. Finding meaning to everything and symbolising everything to something. But trust me this was different. I wasn’t merely symbolising with the book. I could relate. Perfectly. To every single line of it. I thought I’d write a biography before I die. Atleast a personal diary which will be let public after my death. But not anymore. After this book, I just dont have anything more to write. Its all said. Straight and precise.

If there’s one thing you’d like to do for me, please dont read the book. (if at all if you get to know the book title by ANY chance.) Dont ever. But I really want someone to read the author’s note. Or do I? May be not. 🙂

Disillusioned!

~ Soumya ~ 2 Comments

Remember this mad guy I talked about some months back? Oh I didnt post it. It was just a draft and later went to trash. As my most ramblings.

So there was this guy. (cant call him mad already!) Used to see him everyday at the bus stop as I waited for my bus to college. He walked around the place, talking senseless and acting weird. Would come so close to those talkative group of girls. So much as to make them stop all the chattering abrupt. Nervous and terrified. But he was harmless. He never did anything to them. He didn’t even stare at them, let alone talk or disturb. He just went round and round, lamenting and shouting.

One day, I could actually listen and understand what he was saying. He was talking to a lad, probably a stranger. It was not conversational kinda. More like screaming, he was saying how women are chasing him, yearning for his love and time. He was desperate. I could see through his eyes. It craved for someone to yearn for him. Someone to want him and his love.

Easily predictable. He would probably been have ditched by some bitch. And he just wouldn’t have got out of the shock. I pitied him.

Didn’t see him for some days then. By then, I had developed a habit of seeing him every morning. He resembled someone. That’s not the reason why I looked forward to see him. He just didn’t seem a stranger to me. And then he comes one day. With a cloth bag kinda thing in hand. He was going to Madras it seemed. With a small kit in hand, he was all set for a voyage. Instantly,
I was sad. Not a moment long. The bus came. I got in. And moved on.

Today morning, I saw two normal looking people talking casually. It wasn’t much difficult to recollect the face. And there he is. Back home. Back to his place.

So..was he not mad in the first place? Was that my ideas and thoughts forced upon him? Or may be he was just normal with a crazy streak. Or may be that just was his way of venting pain and agony. However may this be. My nth lesson for the day : Never ever dare judge another person’s mental status. Its complex. 🙂

Change!

~ Soumya ~ Leave a comment

Change is inevitable. Everything around us change. Everything around me change. Change proclaims the future. Change shows us the way. We do different things everyday. We get up, pee, poop, eat, travel, work, walk, sleep, and many other things which we might not want to say out in public. Like fucking your wife if you are a married guy or jacking off if you aint. Sorry, didnt mention about girls. Like getting fucked or masturbating [the good word]. Hmm, so you people might be thinking this post is about sex, since I am very keen into the taboo words. Lol. It aint.

I started talking about change. Even the title says change with a bold exclamation mark. !. We are all afraid of change. When we changed from Typewriters to Computers, we feared change. Change terrifies us. Now they say Einstein was a dumbo. All what we studied, E=MC^2. All has changed [Though not officially, but still to say]. Everything is constantly going through changes, as if, everything exists in a reality of its own. Reality is tough. What we want is only reality. Though we claim otherwise. What we want is rationality. Though we claim otherwise. But then you may ask. How many of us go for a realistic movie? I dont. I want my action hero to fight a hundred all by himself. I want my porn star to fuck a woman for an hour. I want unrealistic things in a movie. Hoping that I’ll have a surrealism turned realism in my life. And it aint a shit rational. But I am. Rational enough to understand movies’ rationalism lies only in feeding the producer’s kids. See, we are opposing change. Drastic and sarcastic change. Things ought to be more transparent. More legible. More put to face. But its difficult. We hint. We suggest. And we do all the shit talk. You see Mr. Perera. Cut the crap. What the heck am I talking here? Yeah, forgot. Change. So, since we are very much into opposing change, what we must be doing is simple. Change the change. Is it very simple? Nay. It aint. Because then thats a change too. We have changed from shit to crap. We are dumbasses who dont know a thing.

Wisdom is something that pops up in some wise ones head. And we obey. Without questions. We dont have the right to question. Just obey. Plain obligation to walk the way shown to us. I have shown many such ways to many such people. And now I know. I understand. How much difficult it is. To walk through someone elses way. To strode on someone elses path. To wear someone elses shoe/ chappal/methiyadi. Lol. That’s where the change should begin. Break the chains. Move out of obligations. Coz there’s no such thing as ‘obliged to change’. Change the change and trash the wisdom. Coz once you change, everything around you also change. What sounds wise before the change might sound as crap. And your life is not to be somebody’s shit hole. So call it now. Time of change.

Change is inevitable. I am changing. From being the wise kid with the pot of wisdom on my head. Constantly. Please wait till I have changed enough to suit you. Lol.