Today started off like any other day. The perfect crappy days in college. I was pretty much depressed and very sober and prone to any and every provocation. I was soon left out and had my private melodrama running in my brains. And then as I knew something would turn up, the breakfast episode started. Sharing and adjusting are things that we are so perfect at, by a single day of the journey. And there it began, the charity parity episode. I had no clue it’d run this long that even now, as we are all set to sleep, the topic still remains our interest of discussion. It all started with this one kid coming begging into our compartment. A classmate of mine was so generous that she’d practically give anything the boy asks for. And I was so much beyond just infuriated when she casually gave away the jam tin to the kid. What the fuck man! I just saw that kid running from the next compartment, with a handful of breakfast packed in the silver foil from railways. Somebody else had given him way more than what he can ever eat. It was no more begging for food but point blank cheating. And when I tell people about it, they look at me like I’m this devil’s messenger with no compassion. Its fraud and I just knew it before they did. What difference did my long lecture make! The kid easily managed to woo her into giving him another chips packet, in another some hours. It really needn’t be my concern and I’m no way directly involved. But somehow, I ended up reacting, though none really noticed me skipping my breakfast. 😛 The first half was sober enough that we really didn’t want the hijdas to walk into us to worsen our mood. But they just had to coz it was Hyderabad that we were approaching! I paid them off as I was instructed by people with previous experiences. And then someone just casually remarked, “How different is this now! In the morning, kids come and plead and now eunuchs come and threaten! One gets paid out of compassion and the other out of fear. They are exploiting.” I fell silent. I knew it was not intended at me at all. But my silence was deafening to me.
Snow world! I never thought I’d totally freak out like I just did there. I was annoyed. Frustrated. Sad. Crying. Almost out of mind. I thought I’d just turn more cold and freeze in there. But instead, I melted. My anger. My sorrow. Everything just melted at the sight of snow! I chased down people, got chased. I hit with snow, got hit. I yelled. Shoved my anger against some crap heads in plain words, before I smeared snow over them. And to some others, I said how I miss not having had fun with them earlier. I made friends. I destroyed strangers. I freaked out. Literally. 🙂
I stand up for things that I find right. Even if that means walking out of a dining hall, when the rest are eating. (I am skipping that part, but something did happen.) But then again, I was wrong about one such. I thought against having a male company for our late night shopping coz I was almost near sure that nobody would totally want our company. A couple of us girls, three to be precise, set off our way, in search of some food and some other shopping goodies if possible. And against my calculations, we had volunteering male company. And frankly, I thought no good of them coz they were barely in talking terms with me, in other circumstances. To my greater surprise, when I had to dial one of them for an emergency, I almost thought he wouldn’t even pick since roaming charged would cost him and he picked! Not only did he just pick, I got multiple calls from both those guys ensuring where we were and if we reached back safe. I was surprised. I still am.
The Last Straw 