Tag: Friends

From mastering languages to doctoring conversations

~ Soumya ~ Leave a comment

“Enne ezhuthiniruthiyathu appayaanu”, loosely translates to ‘my dad initiated me into learning & literature’. The lone Malayalam sentence in an hour long discourse in English. My dearest friend was expressing her gratitude in the final lap of her doctoral research on English literature. I couldn’t help but notice the irony. That one sentence in Malayalam contained more weight and meaning than her entire presentation and thesis in English. It conveyed the singular truth of gratitude in a daughter’s soul straight to the heart of a proud father. The eloquence of that one utterance silenced everything else.

Such is the power of words – thrives in subtlety and reigns with simplicity. In a different lifetime, this wouldn’t even have struck as irony to me. I would be more impressed by the sheer depth of the research and the grandeur of Beckettian discourse, than the tail end of a ‘vote of thanks’. But it hit me different today. I was and still am an aficionado of words and language. A ‘new’ word excites me more than it should (sadly?). A random one-liner on a tee-shirt makes me ponder longer than it deserves. And I genuinely believe all of these collectively make me the person I am – from a confused kid who used to read dictionary for fun to an adult who toys with the idea of a career in literature with no real efforts whatsoever! Somewhere along the way, I have silently given up being the grammar nazi and ‘learn a new word everyday’ kid. Perhaps it’s because it’s very tiring in a professional setting to ‘politely’ correct people. Perhaps it’s also because the Gen Z ‘aura farming’ is killing my vibe. Or perhaps it’s simply the fact that most of my personal conversations including the ones with this PhD holder friend defy grammar and the very structure of the language. The abrupt drop of an auxiliary verb, unintentional but unedited typos, and abundance of ellipsis – that’s how a normal conversation looks like these days. And I’ve more than made peace with it. It somehow connects me with the person more than a structured sentence. Honestly, this is not a surprising revelation. It should have been the de facto understanding. But for someone who has placed equal weightage on the beauty of a language and the essence of its conversations, this feels like an ‘upgrade’ that needs to be acknowledged.

Tamil, Malayalam, English, Hindi, Sanskrit – name it and I have my essays ready on how I relish each of its beauty – the nuances, the brevity, the flow, the interpretation of its literature. Then again, without any of those structure, I am all ears for a conversation filled with candour, gentle pauses, flowing thoughts and eloquent silences. While I don’t prefer one over the other, I will be swept off my feet with the perfect balance of both. I’m glad such perfect balances also exist in my life – the well-punctuated, properly capitalised, typo-edited versions filled with candid expressions!

Yet another marathon!

~ Soumya ~ 1 Comment

All geared up for yet another 30-day blogging challenge! This time with a friend, with whom I shared all of my school-days writing passions! Like, only I’d understand what she was attempting to say to the world and vice versa. We both sucked in what we did. But funnily enough, we never got tired of trying again and again, to improve and prove to the never-pleased critic in both of us! Is it too common to find people who’d put in infinte literary activities in their New Year to-do resolutions? And actually take the pain of cross-checking with eachother, if the literary ‘resolutions’ are being kept! Well, you just found us. Its like, we’re good at almost nothing else but playing with words. The not-yet-pleased critic says, we’re not even good at this. But as ever, we aren’t tired of trying again and again. To you all, who are supposedly the ‘vivid readers’ of my blog, check out my blog-mate here. Read, comment, criticise. (Compliments are also welcome!) 🙂

Hope the co-blogger does the same, as a token of forgiveness to me for sharing the link and publicising the blog! Seriously, why would someone have a blog if there aren’t any readers!

Official flag off to the marathon!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

~ Soumya ~ Leave a comment

I miss FRIENDS! That’s what we had named our group chat in fb. A bunch of us, who shared similar and differing thoughts, and yet who cared enough to share it with eachother. I initiated the chat, as a 3 people convo. Almost a month ago,I guess. And by now, it has grown big enough, including all 12 or so of us, the like-minded! And today,I just kicked myself out of the conversation. I miss it there! I so much want to get back to the conversation but the reason I got out for, still stays. So now, I just miss my FRIENDS and I sit so blank! Not wanting to go back, but not able to sit alone. What should I let go of now!

This is a piece of writing that someone would expect to go into their Dear Diary times. Not on a public blog, where heated discussions on global socio-economic crises or emotional crests like euphoria or hysteria or some -ria is expected! But I suppose, blogging is more about opening upto the world, rather than cooking up stuff! Writing what you feel.about what happens in your life is more important than evaluating global stands on the world’s existence.

I hate those people, who write so much, who talk so much. About human belief systems, mental struggles of the people of the world, the survival and its cost! Duh! As if, you have been through the struggle, or have ever had any belief system or even have known any question on survivlal. Writing should be genuine, about things that you know, things that you feel and experience! Be an expressive writer than just a columnist!

Nanbenda!

~ Soumya ~ Leave a comment

That’s the kinda friendship that I always sought after! Too few but too close. The kind I have always had. There was always accusations I am so unfriendly and hoarse to people. And the things were that way for the great majority of time in life. The twist in the story comes at this phase of life, where I am in college and face extreme loneliness. And at this point, when the attitude gets questioned, it’s almost like I just yield to all the accusations. Blame my attitude! I haven’t ever been too friendly, too nice or too cool. But nor too sour nor too bad. Something might have still been wrong with me or the rest of the world then. I’d rather choose its me! Easier to explain one person’s abnormality than with the entire world. Other than the random comments about my ‘not-like-the-name’ attitude, I have never had such a clear description about me!

There was this guy in train with me yesterday. A childhood friend. We used to go to the same after school creche, attend the same music class and so many other kids’events. I saw him first there. But he was with friends and I didn’t want to bother him, with an ages old companionship story. But in a while, he spotted me and wondered why I never took an initiative all the while. I openly said the reason. And then, we traveled together for the rest of the journey. Half way thru, he wonders why am I so much in a ‘pucham’ mode all the time! Surprised as I am to be, I wondered what could possibly trigger such a question. He clarified, that there’s never any faint expression of excitement or joy in my face. That all the 3 – 4 times that we ever met after childhood, I appeared all grim and dull to him. While actually, I was all excited about having a company for the journey!

Now arises the question! Am I more misunderstood by people around me or by myself? One of us is definitely wrong. Despite the fact that I look out for ‘nanbenda’ kinda friends, why do I look like such a moron and be the despicable one!! I am not worried about it. Just a sharing a line of thought about things that run in my mind. Hoping answer(s) to the question in comments below!